Up Up & Away

Those bones at Kangdori were f**kin scary...but the kahwa at Tangmarg bus stand left an aroma in my mouth cavity. The trip to Pahalgam was NOISY but the first view of the valley was one that I had never seen before...

Welcome to RADIO Kashmir as I take you on seven day trip from Delhi-Kashmir-Delhi visiting destinations that we had set out for and a few that we unfortunately missed...Well I'll try to stay away from negative words lke afore mentioned in the rest of the telecast. Not to miss the amazing food we had on the vacation in the Himalayas & Pir Panjals

Episode 1: Delhi To Jammu - The RAJA Rajdhani

A 20 minute bike ride from my place including three halts - 1. ATM - cash... CHECK... 2. Departmental Store, paper soap, sanitizers...CHECK and 3. BACARDI WHITE.. CHECk an Im at the New Delhi statio where the Jammu Rajdhani awaits me.

Two more characters in the telecast besides me n BACARDI, Ms SRA and Mr Suri aka laindi photographer find a convenient spot near the Bank of Baroda ATM where I can find them.

Once together, we headed for the platform, got into our compartment where Suri uttered the word 'Bastard' for the first time (PS: he said that on more than a few occasions during the trip).

Quickly I skip the night where we savoured the NOT SO GREAT Rajdhani food and VAdilal Icee Cream (U can only find it in Rajdhani now) and a Classic Menthol courtesy Ms Sra, we reached Jammu Rly Station at around 7 in da morning.

Surprised as I was.. we saw a Nescafe just outside the station open at 7 am, where we had morning coffee and decided the way forward....... To be Continued

Wasting away in GLORY!!

2009.. ten months and counting...my days at my first job. As I approach my first appraisal I think about things that were good and others that could have been better. Having lost count of a handful number of fun moments, I still wipe off my face...full of perspiration. Tired at work?? May be...infact NO. I am not tired at work, I am tired of working.

Doing the same thing over and over again and trying to make it new ebvery time. Aah it's a lie. Its like re-inventing the wheel. Telling the same story twice, thrice and keeping on telling the same thing.

They say there will be a new day, a new beginning...but when...it seems like the end of the tunnel.

I know I can certainly do a lot more. As some one told me...make the most of this time...coz in his words this is prime time.

On self-introspection I feel I need to pursue some goals...aim at a bigger aim.... There are innumerable questions in my head but sadly no ANSWERS.

Don't know where I am heading...that's why wasting away i.........!!!

How Toilets were introduced in the Indian Railways

Okhil Babu's letter to the Railway Department:

"I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance that guard making whistle blow for train to go off and I am running with 'lotah' in one hand and 'dhoti' in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women on plateform. I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station.This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam guard not wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers."

Okhil Chandra Sen wrote this letter to the Sahibganj divisional railway office in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New Delhi. It was also reproduced under the caption "Travelers' Tales" in the Far Eastern Economic Review.

Any guesses why this letter was of historic value?

It apparently led to the introduction of toilets on trains!!

THE PUNJABI ALPHABET: REVISION Course

A is for Adjust. Punjabis will always ask you to ‘Thoda Adjust kaar low ji’

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and it’s not a process for replicating sheep, nor is it George’s last name. It is merely an area where people live e.g. Defence Cloney.

E is for Expanditure. Punjabis are never shy of spending money - the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back,of course).

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame (If the Grand Prix does come to Ludhiana there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder di Gaddi).

H is for Ho Jaoga Ji, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s rarely going to happen.

I is for Intezaar, and to know more about it see ‘P’.

J is for Jindagi, and if there’s one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it’s a Punjabi.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, Kapoor, etc., the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g.’Keeping up with the Khuranas’)

L is for Lovely sister of Happy, but unfortunately she almost never is

M is for Mrooti, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for No Problem Ji. To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).

P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you, he always says he’ll reach you in punjmint.

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslatable into Punjabi.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sandy and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in NCR.

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori chicken.

U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncle-ji’.

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Whan or Whay, as in ‘Whan are you coming ji?

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.

Y is for ‘You nonsense’, when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting spree.

Z is for Zigzag (Please refer to G & M).

Mai kya ji : Have a good day Ji!

!!I laughed my pancreas out the first time I read it!!

A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakattan goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'West Bengal Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!

B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.

C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.

D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown in at times.

E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.

F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, etc.

H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!

I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!

J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million jholas bobbling around Kolkata - and they all look exactly the same! Notethat 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second.

K is for Kee Kaando !. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).

L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to Mt. Everest .

M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.

N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most interesting naked word in any language!

O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)

P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.

Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment. There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.

R is for Robi Thakur. Many nany years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all non-Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second!

S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by doing a little bit of 'joggo' and 'maanot'.

T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.

U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.

V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.

W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by this!

X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.

Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali (see R for Robi Thakur).

Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone.

Well...It's True.. Isn't It???

Some Facts which are very true!
1. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

2. To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.

3. The road to success??.. Is always under construction.

4. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

5. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

6. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.

7. Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

8. Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.

9. If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

10. You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.

11. Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.

12. As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?.If it is bad, it happens.

13. He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.

14. If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.

15. Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.

16. When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.

17. If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.

18. Especially for engg. Students--If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.

19. You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.

20. The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.

21. After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.

22. If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.

23. Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker.

जय हिंद..

Udham Singh was one of the great patriots of India, with a burning desire to see his motherland free from the clutches of British colonialism and imperialism. According to British records, he was born at Sunam Village, Patiala State, on 23 August 1901, and was known at various stages in his relatively short life by the following names: Sher Singh, Udham Singh, Udhan Singh, Ude Singh, Frank Brazil and Mohemed Singh Azad. Being orphaned at the age of three, he was brought up in the Sikh orphanage attached to Khalsa College, Amritsar. He was issued with a passport on 20 March 1933 in Lahore in the name of Udham Singh. In a Metropolitan Police report, file MEPO 3/1743, dated 16 March 1940 (3 days after Udham Singh had been charged with the murder of Sir Michael O'Dwyer), we find information concerning his life, which reveals him to be a highly active, well-travelled, politically motivated, secular-minded young man with some great purpose in his life, a supporter of Bolshevism and driven by an ardent hatred of British rule in India. This is how the report runs:
SINGH served in the Army in Basra for a year and a half and in British East Africa for two years. He returned thereafter to India for a few months and then proceeded to London in the company of one PRITAM SINGH. The two sailed for the United States via Mexico. He worked for two years in California and for some months in Detroit and Chicago, whence he moved to East New York where he lived for five years. Thereafter he shipped for voyages in various vessels of the US Shipping Line according to his own account as a Porto Rican, because no Indians were allowed to be employed on US vessels. (He is known to have held a seaman's certificate in the name of FRANK BRAZIL of Porto Rico). From New York he made a trip to Europe, landing in France, and thereafter visiting Belgium, Germany and going as far as Vilna in Lithuania, returning via Hungary, Poland, Switzerland, Italy and France, embarking there for America. After another few months in the USA, he took employment on vessels plying to most of the Mediterranean ports and thereafter secured employment on the S.S. Jalapa as a carpenter. He arrived in this vessel at Karachi in July, 1927, and deserted from her in Calcutta.
While in America he appears to have come under the influence of Ghadr Party [Party of Revolt] and to have been affected by its teaching. He used to read seditious literature published by this party. On 27 July 1927 he was fined at Karachi for having in his possession a large number of obscene postcards.
On 30 August 1927 he was arrested at Amritsar as it was suspected that he was in possession of unlicensed Arms. Two revolvers, one pistol, a quantity of ammunition and copies of the prohibited paper, Ghadr-i-Gunj [Voice of Revolt], were recovered from him. He was prosecuted under section 20 of the Arms Act and was sentenced to five years rigorous imprisonment. He stated that he had intended to murder Europeans who were ruling over Indians and that he fully sympathised with the Bolsheviks, as their object was to liberate India from foreign control. He was released from gaol on 23 October 1931.
He visited his village for a short time in 1933 and then proceeded to London where in 1934 he was known to be living at 9 Alder Street, Commercial Road.
On 5 July 1934, as Udham Singh, he applied in London for endorsements to his passport no. 52753, issued in Lahore: he gave his address as 4, Best Lane, Canterbury, Kent, and said he had a business as a sports outfitter in India, but that he had not worked since his arrival some nine months previously. (There is, however, evidence to show that he had been pursuing the calling of a peddler). He announced that he wished to travel by motor-cycle via Germany, Belgium and Poland to Russia, across Russia to Odessa, where he would take ship for Constantinople en route for India. This was considered rather strange, in view of the fact he had recently broken his arm, but as he had not at that time been identified as an Indian of extremist views no objections could be raised.
On 12 May 1936, he applied in London for endorsements for Holland, Germany, Poland, Austria, Hungary and Italy, giving the address 4, Duke Street, Spitalfields, E. The application was granted.
On 16 May 1936 he applied in Berlin for further endorsements including the Eastern European countries and the USSR. In view of the fact that he had not asked for these at the time of his application in London four days earlier, he was informed that his case would have to be referred to London, where upon he withdrew his application.
On 25 June 1936 he was reported as arriving in London from Leningrad, and in the following November it was reported that he was living with a white woman in the West End of London and was working at intervals on crowd scenes at film studios. On several occasions he is reported to have expressed extreme views and he is known to have boasted that he had smuggled arms into India.
In August, 1938, UDHAM SINGH was charged in London with demanding money with menaces. The Jury disagreed at the first trial and he was acquitted at the second trial.
He has not come under notice at meetings organised by Indian extremist movements in London.
On National Registration day he registered in the name of AZAD Singh, under Serial No. EACK/305/7, giving his occupation as carpenter, and stating that he was born on 23 October 1905. His address was given as: 581 Wimborne Road, Bournemouth.
A further record of antecedents was supplied by the prisoner to Detective Sergeant Lisney and this is also attached.
It appears his last employment terminated on 7th November, 1939, since when he has been receiving 17/-per week unemployment benefit in the name of SINGH AZAD.
Source: 'Lalkar', November-December, 1996.