THE PUNJABI ALPHABET: REVISION Course

A is for Adjust. Punjabis will always ask you to ‘Thoda Adjust kaar low ji’

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum. It is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and it’s not a process for replicating sheep, nor is it George’s last name. It is merely an area where people live e.g. Defence Cloney.

E is for Expanditure. Punjabis are never shy of spending money - the latest cars, gadgets, marble floors: their ambitions are always expanding.

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back,of course).

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame (If the Grand Prix does come to Ludhiana there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder di Gaddi).

H is for Ho Jaoga Ji, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s rarely going to happen.

I is for Intezaar, and to know more about it see ‘P’.

J is for Jindagi, and if there’s one person who knows how to live life to the fullest it’s a Punjabi.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, Kapoor, etc., the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g.’Keeping up with the Khuranas’)

L is for Lovely sister of Happy, but unfortunately she almost never is

M is for Mrooti, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for No Problem Ji. To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).

P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you, he always says he’ll reach you in punjmint.

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslatable into Punjabi.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sandy and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in NCR.

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori chicken.

U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncle-ji’.

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Whan or Whay, as in ‘Whan are you coming ji?

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in all Punjabi conversations.

Y is for ‘You nonsense’, when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting spree.

Z is for Zigzag (Please refer to G & M).

Mai kya ji : Have a good day Ji!